Learn how to: Get a Successful Conflict Resolution in your Workplace.
By John Wolf
An old friend told me about himself, and the complete conversation he used to hold in is head with people he is angry. He was not easy to converse and rarely talked directly with the person he was angry at. This anger in his head was growing and being built because he felt frustrated though he never let the other person understand that there is a problem between both of them.
He almost lost his marriage because he was avoiding the conflict by not having a real conversation with his wife. Instead, he was having the conversation with himself in his head.
My friend has a strong need to avoid conflicts and confrontations that create for himself a safe option, keeping the confrontation in his mind, feeling that he did something, but only feeling.
With the other person knowing nothing about it nothing happened, the frustrated friend kept feeling bad.
Four Ways to Manage Conflict in the Workplace
Do You keep living in You Imaginary of Mental Conflict Confrontations or land into reality and Practice Conflict Avoidance?
Are you holding mental conflicts and confrontations in your mind?
You know what is that makes you feel uncomfortable and frustrating, your conversation about it may be ready in your mind.
Converting the reality into an imaginary confrontation will make you listen to your yourself and get a different view of the issue. It may help you to see that the real situation is not that bad, that you are making too much out of a petty situation
You may find yourself spending hours at night lying in bed and having those imaginary conversations with people that make you feel angry and frustrated.
Spending the night practicing conversations on a topic that makes you feel bad will disrupt your sleep what will make you lose your health and attitude, not resolving the problem, and having the risk of damaging your relationships.
Not every action that was taken must end with conflicts; you can save the conversation in your head and wait to see what will happen
It may occur again so you can think again and review the issue and take the step to make a real conversation.
You can figure out what makes you afraid of essential confrontational conversation.
At the third confrontation, you will need to take a step towards a real conversation, review your words and go to the real confrontation.
How to Manage a Real Conflict or Confrontation
A real issue needs some real preparation, learn to state the issue in one or two sentences that are emotionless with only the facts expressed clearly.
For example, let’s take the position that you decided to confront a coworker about the credit of the last work you both did together.
You can say “ Hey you took the credit for yourself and left me out of the credits list and so on keep complaining. Maybe you better take a different approach like “I do not see my name on the Smithson project that we worked on it together? Why can’t I see my name on it? There are no feelings on this sentence, only facts with no option of disputing.
Present your initial statement and no more
Allow the coworker that you are confronting to respond without you adding anything defense to your first words. Avoid entering an argument, just let the other person respond.
Be a good listener. It will let you catch the differences between your words and your colleague response. Listen and not rehearse possible responses. You may be surprised by your coworker that will tell you about a good reason for what happened. You must resist your need to answer and defend your position.
Do not fall into arguing at the time of the confrontation
By listening carefully, you can avoid an unnecessary fight. You may misunderstand the situation or lacked some information. Let your colleague the opportunity to make himself clear.
Once you got your frustration off your head, and move ahead. Do not look for showing who is to blame; it is not having any importance anymore.
Think of the resolution you are looking for the conflict before you start the confrontation.
Taking the aggressive approach will gain a defensive response like “ Yes I told the boss about just a few days ago” evading a complete resolution. You better present a solution like offering the following resolution.“ I am sorry about it lets correct it by writing an email to our boss and all the staff that read this job.” Just what you are looking for.
All other approaches that will look for who says what and when, or why it was not done before and on irrelevant action that take you far from your goal, See the credit for your work.
To make thing clear for the future take a moment to get an agreement with your coworker to keep adding both names on any work you do together.
Steak to you required goal for this confrontation
Do not let yourself to fall into the peat hole of argumentation and fighting
Negotiate but never fight
Your complaint is about your credit for the work you did together with one of your colleagues, do not lose the focus at the moment of the confrontation with your colleague. You need your credit written on the work itself, not words that will blow with the wind forgotten quickly or some slaps on your shoulder. The written credit will be there when the time for better salary or promotion comes. This is what credit means.
How to Negotiate With Your Co-Workers
Focusing on your goal, and demanding what is yours, without making to much noise. But with a clear and powerful confrontation. They will never forget your credit anymore.
You learned that it is essential that you say something when you are frustrated and angry about something that is important for you. Who will do it for you if not yourself?
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