WHAT TO DO ABOUT DIFFICULT AND TOXIC PEOPLE YOU MUST WORK TOGETHER
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We are a human society that has to coexist and interact every day with other humans like colleagues that can be nice as well as petty jealousies, rude customers, controlling micro-managers or straight up verbal abuse and bullying. Rand’s survey tells us that nearly one of five employees are exposed to harassment or another kind of hostility at the workplace environment.
One of this five could be yourself that faced difficult or toxic people. Within a large group of co-workers, there is always some that are toxic, rude and unpleasant colleagues. Learning how to deal with toxic people can make your work better and save you unpleasant moments at work. We will learn some effective tactics that will affect the toxic people that spoil our days at work.
Quote from Working Conditions Survey (AWCS)
“How do Americans perceive their workplace? According to the American Working Conditions Survey (AWCS), workers report that their jobs can be physically demanding, hazardous, and hectic—but also social and supportive. Despite the reported downside, many retirees would return to work if the right opportunity came along.”
Check your mental attitude
Start with yourself, look at your feelings and see if you do not fall into victim mind set or you are thinking of yourself as a powerless to change it. Victims mentality will keep us acting like victims and not resolving the situation. We must take the position that is not only “fight or flight” but looking beyond it.
Do you feel that you need to fight against the people or the situation? Or you take the role of the injured and complaining that it is not fair, it is not right? Taking this position will lead you to have a very limited option for the solution or improvement of this situation.
Once you eliminated the victim-hood feeling, you can see other possibilities that can help you handle the situation. Now you can ask yourself “What are the options I have for achieving turning the situation in your workplace to a more comfortable and pleasant one. Beyond shying away or trying to fight your way out.
Acknowledge it’s not personal
Being the one that is on the receiving end of bad treatment, you may feel like it is directed to you personally. As it becomes a long time story, you may feel more and more like a victim of personal persecution by the person that took the role of your torturer. This persecution will make you feel that you are the problem, or that you made something wrong to the person that is toxic with you, and that is the reason for the torturer. The truth is that it is not personally against you. Looking at yourself will end being pointless, looking at the other person will bare some good idea of what is going on.
This kind of toxic people will always look for a convenient target for their bad behavior; it is all about them, we can not know why or what is going in the mind of another person, they may have insecurities or other problems and experiences in their lives. We do not know why they choose to do what they do; we can not have any success in fixing those people minds.
9 Signs It’s Time to Cut a Toxic Person Out of Your Life
Have gratitude
Have gratitude to someone that makes your life worse and enjoy it sounds like craziness. Though it looks too airy to express gratitude and gain a real effect on the relation of two people. What gratitude towards a toxic coworker can do is to eliminate the judgment we have fixed in our mind. When we judge someone or even ourselves, we get ourselves caught into a mindset we can not make changes because we already decided how it is and how it will be!
Keeping a distance from a toxic person help you to keep being negative about him, coming closer with gratitude will help you to change your judgment about a toxic person and find the ways that a toxic person could contribute to your own life.
How can you be grateful for the person and the situation that gives you a hard time? By being grateful, you can be dissipating the effect of the strong reactions have on us in distressing situations.
“A soft answer turns away wrath” is an old saying, the worst circumstances can turn to be peaceful when gratefulness is used. With gratitude, you become aware of the good and positive gift of the situation rather than the negative pitfalls.
5 Ground Rules for Positive Workplace Friendships
Hit the ‘RESET’ button daily
Holding in your mind the past resentments, keep thinking about the conflicts as a hard to bare issues will severely affect your ability to move forward or improve the situation with the toxic fellow at your workplace. Not leaving frustrations from the to will keep you in expectation for a new crisis with your boss or colleagues. You will come to work with your mind ready to take anything as something against you. Anything that happens and you will hold it and react hard or not let it go easily will stay with you as a negative memory that will make you sensitive to any new case inflating your reaction getting more stress and reduce your ability to react in a way that will not make thing worse. The past will affect the present negatively, taking thing as a balanced person will reduce the tension and stress.
Every day is a new day that can be positive if you take it with no bad feeling about the incident of the past. Being open and act with gratitude, forgiveness and friendly attitude will make your workplace a peaceful place to work.
Don’t lose your sense of humor
Dealing with toxic people is hard they can have an offensive talk, but the worse is what they do to your state of mind, you can lose the enjoyment, happiness and fulfillment mode. If you lost your sense of humor, it means that you are no longer yourself.
Being a loser or a chooser
If you take the loser, you will be choosing to be offended and victim by any toxic personality at your workplace, feeling that you cannot do anything about it.
By taking the chooser way, you will choose to take easy and react with humor and gratitude when a toxic colleague is treating you bad. When you take the chooser way you will not suffer from anyone that tries to treat you with no respect, make jokes of you. You will be strong and take things with humor and amusement watching the toxic guy efforts to make your life miserable failing.
The power to change and choose.
Do not let toxic people be that important in your life, give them a smile of a person that does not care about their attempt to make you suffer. Instill gratitude and humor in your response, do not allow yesterdays toxic actions to destroy to days enjoyment and your good mood at work.