Learn How to Use Grace and Dignity When You Ask for Feedback

How to Get Feedback With Grace and Dignity 




   By John Wolf 

When You  Respond Properly, You Will Get More Than Just Feedback

Every employee would like to know how their employer sees his or her contribution. What would be the feedback about his or her performance and participation at work? It is evident that you will not ask about it your superior openly and straightforwardly. “Mr. Smith please tell me what do you think on me? ” You better make your boss disclose you what he thinks about your contribution to the organization.

Grace Feedback

Make your boss happy to feedback you. When they feel you will appreciatively take into account their words, you will get much more, and be satisfied.

Feedback meeting

Thoughtful feedback is a tool for your grows personally as well as professionally. Transparent and honest feedback will help you develop your career, too. Let you have the feedback is the best gift your bosses can give you for your personal and professional life. This gift will be given to you only if you can be approachable and permit them to feel comfortable while they are giving feedback.

Once you made your superiors rebuffed or argued, and subjected by your defensiveness. By doing so, you will repel your managers from coming close to you with feedback that includes critics or advice that you could not accept.  If your coworkers do like you, creating a negative approach to feedback, it will affect all the group that has the same goal as you.

Being too defensive with your boss will be the worst of all. Your boss is the more important person to feedback on the most important subjects.

Feedback, a subordinated person, is hard enough to untrained managers, that you have to avoid making it harder by arguing any feedback. You must make it easy for your manager to feedback you.

How to positively Feedback Employees and Helps Them to Improve

Feedback ideas

How to get Feedback?


These are the recommended steps to gain feedback with grace and dignity.



  Do not fell to control your defensiveness. The nature of the majority of the people is to avoid hurting and having a conflict with you. Or suffer from your defensive or justifying behavior. This situation will make people hesitate to tell you what you do not like to hear, criticizing feedback.  If you can create an image of an approachable person,  you will have more feedback and advice from your boss and other supervisors. By “fighting back” the feedback by being angry, justifying and excuse-making of any critics you will lose the opportunity to learn and correct your performance and contribution in your workplace.

How To Gracefully Give Constructive Criticism

  1. Listen to get it understood. Apply all your abilities to listen and absorb what you are told, including giving high attention to the speaker’s body language and facial expression. Your body language and facial expression are essential too. Your listening or not can be detected easily by your experienced boss. Let the person in front of you feel listened with interest.
  2. Listening to what you are told in the feedback, will allow you to learn about yourself, and how people see you. Noted consultant and author, Tom Peters, noted consultant and author, said, “Perception is all there is.”  Listening to the feedback is like looking at the mirror before going out. Do not ignore what you see in the mirror.  It is vital for your career growth.
  3. Take what you are told as data to process and analyze for your growing the organization.  The person that provided you with the feedback did it as part of his or her job responsibility, and have a personal interest to see you improving under is supervision.  Your success is your boss success too.  Sowing that you do listen and your gratitude will make your manager happy.   Do not hear this voice in your brain that tells you to argue, deny or try to oppose the feedback. Concentrate on understanding what you are told and get the right conclusions.  Ask detailed questions and show that you are taking the feedback seriously.
  4. Your question should be made only to clarify details you do not understand.  Focus on understanding the feedback not on responding in defense of your pride.
  5.   Ask the feedback provider for examples and stories that can illustrate what you are told, so you will be sharing the ideas and meaning with the person that provided the feedback.
  6.  When somebody is in a position to feedback on your activity at the workplace, it does not Mean he or she think like you. Nor be right or agreed by the rest of the team. Do not forget that they see your activity with different eyes and other life experience different than yours.
  7.  Avoid being grumpy and dismissive. If you want to receive honest and open feedback, be approachable. You will have feedback that may open your eyes to your mistakes and let you know what advantages you have. Being open to hearing feedbacks is evident through your body language, facial expressions and the way you welcome the feedback. You can go straight and ask more directly for an opinion, asking your boss “Mr. Robert, how did I do on that presentation? Was I clear?
  8.  Do not take the feedback without double checking; check with your colleagues about the reliability of the feedback you have received. If only one co-worker recognized that it is about you. Look at what is happening, and try to understand why it happened.
  9. This feedback was made on you and for you only. It is up to you to make use of it or dump it. Check carefully why your team members think that it is not something that shows who you are. You can go to the person that made the feedback and ask for more explanation, do not just dump it.  

How to  Gracefully Receive a Feedback

“Run, hide, or say thank you: when faced with feedback, what do you do?” Joy Mayer at TEDxCoMo

Here is more communication advice about how to receive feedback with grace and dignity.

  1. Never forget that the people that made the feedbacks think that they are right and helping you to improve your career and growth in your job.  Show your appreciation to these people. Make them feel encouraged to keep making the feedbacks you need so much.
  2.   Most managers and supervisors think that providing feedback is scary. They never know how the employee will react to the feedback.
  3. Never let yourself fall in a defensive or even worst hostile state of mind. When you face feedback that is not what you thought you would get.  Take the anti-stress measures such as taking a deep breath and letting it out gradually.

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Disclaimer: John Wolf and paystubmakr.com are making a total effort to offer accurate, competent, ethical HR management, employer, and workplace advice.  We do not use the words of an attorney and the content on the site is not given as legal advice. The website has readers from all US states which all have different laws on these topics. The reader should look for legal advice before taking any action.  The information presented on this website is offered as a general guide only and never as